Right or Wrong. Loving Well is An Exit Strategy.

I am going to do the opposite and talk about preservation of love in a different context - the break up. There's never a good time. Most of us don't go into a #relationship planning an exit strategy. I have counseled and advised friends going through this difficult ordeal. I assure you I have at some point in my life experienced heartbreaking loss. Truth be told, for the past several days, I am currently in the midst of my own heart ache and sadness. In the end, I've found a certain comfort and I brokered my own private agreement with love.

Here's what I want you to remember.

Even if your time with this person has come to an end, their romantic life has not, and there will be other relationships that they can apply these learnings. No matter how unhappy you may be with your relationship or break up, don't let them sour on love or relationships altogether. We all have to realize: right now, there's someone out there breaking up with a person we'll one day date ourselves (or even marry). And just as we don't want them burned so hard they put up walls we can never get through, let's all try to do the same in return. Pay it forward by ending things gracefully, so they can love openly again, and hope that the person who might be dumping your future wife/hubby has the #maturity to do the same.

Let us balance the equation of loving badly with loving well so we can be better caretakers of the heart. We all have so much love in our hearts that we should not keep it to ourselves.

We spend much more time on what's going wrong than on what's going right. The news is almost entirely about problems and rarely about successes. Every person that walks through your life is different. And must always be judged for them, their merit. Someone may make you feel so unwanted now. But you have the option to always reinvent what you want. You have to take risks and fail. Should the opportunity present itself, it can scare you to death, reappear and disappear without explanation. And if you are afraid, you are not yourself.

I strongly believe we accept the love we think we deserve.

I appreciate the things that are molding me to be a better woman. Even if it hurts me or I don't understand it, I need it for who I am becoming. Keep asking yourself, how can I be better? So do good. Handle that break up with care. It will come back to you in unexpected ways ♥

• We spend much more time on what's going wrong than on what's going right • Location: San Clemente, CA