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Writer's picturecaffeinatedcricket

Reference. Not Residence.

Everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, or has lost something. There is always some thing for everyone.


One of the most beautiful gifts that we gain from being in an initimate relationship is the emotional support that we get from them. We heal so much quicker and easier when we have a safe space, a light house, in a committed relationship. Choices or decisions made out of anger, resentment, jealousy, or revenge are never wise and more damaging. Some times, we have come through or still going through something that leaves you feeling disappointed, disillusioned, and even a little bit angry. Instead of being beaten down, be invigorated. Instead of being disappointed, be challenged. You cannot change what has already transpired, but you can decide your reaction on it.


And some times you have to leave people where they are at, accept situations for what they are, and not every action needs a reaction. Past emotional wounds or unmet needs make it hard to connect. Too often most of us do not know how to speak our truth.


Let me be also very clear. It is not your responsibility to to ease their suffering. It is not your responsibility to take ownership of their feelings. It is not your responsibility to create their happiness for them. It is not your responsibility to do the work for them but you can play a part in their healing.

You will always be too much of something for someone; too optimistic, too needy, too fiercely #independent, too small, too loud, too soft, too wild, too passionate, too self aware, too happy. Apologize for mistakes. Apologize for unintentionally hurting someone - profusely. But do not apologize for being who you are.



: Somewhere between hello and goodbye, there is love. So so much love. Say farewell to your past and hello to your present at the Marriott Wailea Beach Resort Location: Maui, HI



The past is a place of reference, not residence.


The more anger towards your past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present. I think some times, we forget to be thankful for closed doors, bad vibes, and stuff that falls apart. They protect you from things not meant for you. Work on things that people cannot take away from you...things like your character, personality, #transparency, your entire being. People do not trigger you. They trigger your trigger. You are not your trigger. You are moved by your triggered reaction. Your trigger usually points to what you need to heal. You are responsible for your triggers and #healing. This is not necessarily easy work but it is vital work.


We are not always the best care takers and we humans poorly manage our relationships. For most of our lives, the biggest influence on whether our lives suck or are awesome is the quality of our relationships.


Human conflict is everywhere. The ripple effect breaks people. Then, broken people break other things, people included. Good people with good intentions do damage to each other emotionally and mentally with behaviors they do not understand to be as damaging as they are. Chances are you are doing something that you are not necessarily aware of that is screwing up your relationship.


Generally we all want love and need support. It is not always about you and what you want. You need to think about the other person as well. Relationships are a gift, not an entitlement. Gifts are appreciated and often we are grateful for. Life is fragile and can change in a instant. You need coffee shops and sunsets and road trips, airplanes and passports, and new songs and old songs, fresh flowers, and Thai sesame balls, but people more importantly than anything else. You need other people. And you will need to be that other person for someone else...a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe better things. These are the kind of needy people you want to reside in your life ♥

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