Willingness

Once in awhile, we all need a reality check.

Goodhearted people tend to feel they are the blame for someone else's mistake or lapse in judgment. Too often they take on the weight of the world on their shoulders, even when there's no obligation or fault. People will and may make you feel responsible for their feelings. But why are you feeling guilty? Grown ups make their own choices. Don't get caught up playing martyr.

Here's the thing... if you want to get better at anything in life, then you have to be willing to push yourself. You have to be willing to challenge yourself and try things that you never believed you were capable of, trying things you thought were simply off-limits to you.

It means pursuing the things you want, not just the things you think you can achieve. AND you’re going to screw up. You’re going to get rejected. It’s inevitable. There will be many, many times when you will have what seems like a sure-thing and you will trip over your toes, do something stupid and obvious and manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. I couldn't tell you how many times I've fallen and had to pick myself off the floor from rejection, both professionally and personally.

• Be willing to take push, challenge, try, discard, and forgive yourself.

• Location: Phoenix, AZ

So you have to be willing to forgive yourself. It’s easy to be angry with yourself, to blame yourself and want to just dwell on all the ways you did things wrong… but it doesn’t do you any good. And if there’s anything I hope that you’ve taken from all my writings, is that you need to be willing to discard that which is not useful. And hanging on to all of your previous rejections, failures and screw-ups is the literal opposite of useful. It happened, it’s over, and it’s put you on the path to where you are now… and following that path is going to be what helps you find what you’re looking for... One more thing, Phoenix I still am in love with you. See you on the runway in 15 ♥

Roads Ahead

You need people in your life that are further ahead than you.

The world is huge, so much bigger than you ever thought. Disasters are never as distrastrous as you think. And perfection is never entirely perfect. It's why I slam my heart into the people and the places and the things that ignite something deep inside of my soul.

One of the greatest gifts my past has given me is the crystal clear understanding of the future I deserve.

For others, it is not so simple. I am sure there's more road behind than ahead. But know this... You are not lost. You are just in an uncomfortable stage of your life where your old self is gone but your new self isn't fully born yet. You're in the midst of transformation. Some may tell you quit while you're ahead. But how can you be sure you're ahead? Maybe you're behind. Maybe you are so far behind that the only real option is to start over. Setbacks tend to erode our confidence. We end up feeling less assertive, less self-assured, and less hopeful. Don't let current circumstances, difficult as they may be, cause you to give up. Stay inspired and keep going. We all have the power to make things right.

Sometimes, the only closure you need is understanding you deserve better. Let go of what you thought should happen and just live in what is happening.

• You need people in your life that are further ahead than you. People that are more experienced so you can go to new levels..

• Location: Phoenix, AZ

Being authentic should be without guilt, shame or judgment. Encourage it.

The healer needs healing. The planner also needs surprises. The giver also needs to receive. The thoughtful also needs to be thought of. The considerate also needs to be considered. You don't need to change who you are. Simply find or create a safe space where you can stop being who you are not. What is left of you is the best of you. Sending out love to you all, happy November sweet peas ♥

Caretaking

bon_vivi_ant_eats • Location: Boulder, CO

♥ Love is fragile, much like us humans. We are not always the best caretakers of each other. The most important work we do is within the walls of our home. A great partner brings out your triggers, wounds from the past, fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs. I discovered that a heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better you accept others and yourself, the more compassionate you become. As you practice compassion, you set boundaries to hold people accountable for their behavior. A secure and healthy partnership will provide you with a safe space to work through those things and become the best version of yourself. To this day, I still take responsibility for me, nurturing and worrying always about my well-being. I simply am being a caretaker on God's behalf. Life is too short to be a caretaker of the wrong details.