Right or Wrong. Loving Well is An Exit Strategy.

I am going to do the opposite and talk about preservation of love in a different context - the break up. There's never a good time. Most of us don't go into a #relationship planning an exit strategy. I have counseled and advised friends going through this difficult ordeal. I assure you I have at some point in my life experienced heartbreaking loss. Truth be told, for the past several days, I am currently in the midst of my own heart ache and sadness. In the end, I've found a certain comfort and I brokered my own private agreement with love.

Here's what I want you to remember.

Even if your time with this person has come to an end, their romantic life has not, and there will be other relationships that they can apply these learnings. No matter how unhappy you may be with your relationship or break up, don't let them sour on love or relationships altogether. We all have to realize: right now, there's someone out there breaking up with a person we'll one day date ourselves (or even marry). And just as we don't want them burned so hard they put up walls we can never get through, let's all try to do the same in return. Pay it forward by ending things gracefully, so they can love openly again, and hope that the person who might be dumping your future wife/hubby has the #maturity to do the same.

Let us balance the equation of loving badly with loving well so we can be better caretakers of the heart. We all have so much love in our hearts that we should not keep it to ourselves.

We spend much more time on what's going wrong than on what's going right. The news is almost entirely about problems and rarely about successes. Every person that walks through your life is different. And must always be judged for them, their merit. Someone may make you feel so unwanted now. But you have the option to always reinvent what you want. You have to take risks and fail. Should the opportunity present itself, it can scare you to death, reappear and disappear without explanation. And if you are afraid, you are not yourself.

I strongly believe we accept the love we think we deserve.

I appreciate the things that are molding me to be a better woman. Even if it hurts me or I don't understand it, I need it for who I am becoming. Keep asking yourself, how can I be better? So do good. Handle that break up with care. It will come back to you in unexpected ways ♥

• We spend much more time on what's going wrong than on what's going right • Location: San Clemente, CA

Flawed Connectivity

It is not about existing. It is not about isolation. It is about a connection to each other.

bon_vivi_ant_eats • Love can float in quietly like the ocean waves ushering in morning tide and illuminate your days

• Location: Puerto Penasco l Mexico

I guess I am on a mission to talk about love openly. I believe in definitely making an effort to support one another's relationships. Love certainly does not have to be like the movies, with fireworks, goose bumps and soaring background music. It can be that. It can also be so much quieter. I believe love floats into your life like dandelion seeds, as if everyone blew on them to send out wishes.

But sometimes, finding love takes work, #determination, persistence, and a #willingness to wait and wait and wait. Remember how I sent Myles McDreamy that message that sat for a month in the inbox? Just wait...

Wait, wait, and wait with the patience of a Buddhist monk fly fishing.

You know, the thing about human life - there's no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed. The very fact that this world is so challenging is exactly WHY you sometimes must reach out to find comfort. It is not about existing. It is not about isolation. It is about a #connection to each other. We each seek someone to have enough #compasson to make us feel safe within our broken need with enough wisdom to hold on to #hope.

We all have days where we feel we can't survive. Sometimes dreams are shattered. Relationships may fall apart. Loved ones hurt us. Sickness may overtake us. Finances may worry us. To be honest, I don't know if I have the words to make you feel better.

Life isn't always perfect. It isn't a fairytale or storybook. Life doesn't come easy. It is a short word, easy to spell but difficult to define. Life is impossible to not live. Just look back at how in a matter of 24 hours your world changes. Risk taking is inherently failure-prone otherwise it would be a sure-thing taking. If you give faith a fighting chance, you will be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.

It Takes The One Time.

Taking a risk, an unheard of leap against reason, your own character, rules of etiquette, and traditional dating wisdom...it takes the one time. Finding love usually contains some element of the totally unexpected, #uncertainty. It can take you places you never imagined, changing you from a social butterfly to a content domesticated nester. Don't look for a certain kind of person, a lawyer or a well sculpted model or an Ivy League athlete. It's possible you might find them, but not find love. Instead, just look for a feeling. When it comes to love, as with kissing, it is best to close your eyes. You have to be open to whoever is out there and they show up in the strangest places most of the time. My relationship with Myles symbolizes that in life if you want to get your dreams to come true, you have to take action. You have to step up to the plate and take a swing. You have to take risks and fail.

Never forget three types of people in your life: who helped you in your difficult times, who left you in your difficult times, and who put you in difficult times. That is my idea of varying degrees of difficulties.

We can spend our time and energy judging what is wrong and missing or we can spend our time and energy appreciating what is right and possible. One approach leads to stress and fear, the other leads to peace and purpose.

I have found that people may hurt you in attempt to heal themselves.

We make horrible mistakes. We all have chapters we would rather keep unpublished. Until you heal the wounds of your past, you are going to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, alchohol, drugs, work, sex, and even obssessive workouts. But eventually, it will all ooze through and stain your life. You have to be brave enough to open the wounds, stick your hand inside, and pull out the core of the pain.

Most people will agree that actions prove who someone is, words just prove who they want to be. Often we forget that we are all deeply flawed and I bet everyone of us thinks we are the better person in any type of situation. I'm as guilty as the next person. We all have hurt someone tremendously, whether by intent or accident. We all have loved someone tremendously, whether by intent or accident. It is a human trait and a deep responsibility. We make horrible mistakes. It's how we learn. We breathe love. It's how we learn. But you cannot have a healthy relationship with people who are wearing a mask. No one heals themselves by wounding another. It is okay to be angry. It is never okay to be cruel. Just because you are offended or hurt, does not mean you are right. Pride makes things impossible. Experience calls everything a risk. And reason will tell you it's pointless.

Remember, broken crayons still color. It is far wiser to love people, not things. Use things, not people.

Each of us underestimates our own power and overestimates the other's. The things that irritate us about others can lead us to an understanding about ourselves. That's how you scratch each other's backs. Trust your heart. We cannot help others without helping ourselves. We cannot help ourselves without helping others.

Often, we forget that we can let someone love us just the way we are - as #flawed as we might be, as unattractive as we sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as we think we are. To believe that we must hide all the parts of us that are #broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window to illuminate a dark room. Keep working on yourself. For yourself. By yourself. Wear the beauty and strength that lies within you. Your flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you ♥

Sedona : Tlaquepaque Arts & Shopping Village

♥ We create our own #happiness. The first step to creating anything is to imagine it. Sometimes I think we have to wait and see how things play out. Sometimes, the things you might consider a #regret, #failure, or #heartaches in the present can turn out to be the catalyst for something #extraordinary in the end. Things didn't work out because, well, greater things were in the works. The universe has a beautiful way of straightening things out far better than we ever could.

Never forget where you've been. Never lose sight of where you're going. And never take for granted the people who travel the journey with you. The past is a place of reference, not a place of residence. My idea of forwarding mail.

bon_vivi_ant_eats • Location: Tlaquepaque Arts & Shopping Village l Sedona, AZ • Photography: Me capturing my vibes being calm, peaceful, and happy.

#recklessoptimism #healing #firstloveyourself #solittude #mentalhealt #intuition

• Make your heart the most beautiful thing about you.

• You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince. You are worth finding, worth knowing, and worth loving. You and your one million layers. Keep that close.

#practicemakesperfect #kissingpartner #fairytaleromance #perfectfortherightheart

• Life is the classroom. You are the chalkboard. Let your experiences write the story. Don't lock it away so others can't open it.