Partings

Truthfully I could go back and do everything differently.

That's for you to decide. You can decide which parts of you are worth keeping. This is the most important part. Take your time. Pay attention. The easy part is over. You can go slow. You can stay down for as long as you need to.

• I go where I am loved and bring love to where I go.

• Location: London Eye l London, England

You cannot heal what you hide. You cannot heal what you ignore. You cannot heal what you cover. You cannot heal what you avoid.

Turning the page, this part is much longer. It's the healing. The comeback and the birth of the new you. And it is not easy. You have to be all in.

For me, it took two years. I left so much of myself behind. All the parts that I outgrew. It meant not making myself small. Not bending to fit where I don't belong anymore. The feeling of not belonging is a sign that you are supposed to be somewhere else, doing something different. Let it push you. Let it shove you. Let it force you onto a new path.

Take on the messy work and come out on top, still smiling, still strong. I am still a warm and gentle soul with a heart of gold willing to help anyone. Observe what everyone else is doing, but not absorb it. Love people but don't depend on their love. Want people and things but do not need them. Feel everything fully but not dwell. This is the part of my life where I add people who love me, replenish me, bring me peace and claps for my growth. I am not sorry for the time it took to learn my worth.

I am completely whole. My heart is whole. My soul is whole.

I am here. I am me. Comfortable in my own skin. I earned it. I decide what I am worth. I celebrate me. I live life a bit more selfishly. Pursue my own passions more courageously. People love you because you are you. Exactly as you are right now. Not for some version they hope you'll be one day. There is more road behind me than ahead. I intend to make every step as beautiful and peaceful as possible. Just the best of me.

Then he walks in, guiding me toward a fresh beginning. I love you. Thank you for being here ♥

Leftovers

Another trip around the sun without him.

If you've never lost anyone close, then luckily for you, grief is something you don't know yet. For me, days of grief have felt like years of grief. But if you spend those days completely focused on one thing, you can achieve great miracles.

Everything eventually heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Sad times do not last.

It's his birthday. I love, love, love birthdays. Today is about surrounding myself in his memories, being around people who love me, sharing in laughter, and knowing time is a blessing not to be squandered. To be honest, spending his birthday without him and away from my family, I do usually dread being apart from my essential love ones.

• Your happiness is always going to come back. Sad times do not last.

This year the gratitude is so much deeper than ever before. My life has been filled with more laughter, more dancing, more joy, more giving, more growing, more loving, more learning. It is an honor to my father living a full life and being the best version of myself. I thank every one of you, your contribution. I love you.

My dad left behind the best parts of him. My mother. My siblings. My nieces.

Loving me, knowing me, you're getting to know the best version of him. Happy birthday Dad. Not a day goes by without your love and presence in my life. I celebrate you today and every day dearly ♥

More

Do you ever feel like you are not enough? You have those days where you feel stupid, defeated or even a failure? I think we all have one of those days, one time or another.

Even for me, I read self help books, I reflect, I listen to podcasts, I attend therapy sessions. That doesn't mean I don't have days where I question my entire existence and wonder if I'm ever going to feel like I've got it. I just want to have an honest human moment in this space. People often think how do I stay so positive and keep my shit together. Let me tell you, sometimes I have no idea what the hell is going on and just hanging on for dear life in hopes we figure something out.

Sometimes, it just takes one person to change your life. One to be there and push you to being a better person. One that believes in you. Just one person. Luckily, I have had the privilege of having many conversations with many friends. All remind me how we often spend so much time staring into darkness but forget how much light shines above us and moreso shines within us. I do not believe there is anything more dangerous and destructive a force in this world than 3 things - love, hope, and faith, the greatest being love. But I do not believe there is anything more necessary or perfectly beautiful either.

• Focus on what really matters. Do what you gotta do, to be where you want to be.

• Location: Ensenada, Mexico

It's not wrong to want more in your life, but it's wrong to spend your time living vicariously through someone else when you could be out striving for it yourself - whether it's love, or wealth, or anything else. After all, it's easier for someone to decide for you but harder to undo the choice. If there's something you want - no matter what it is - don't just sit around wanting it. Reach for it.

My timeline is going to look different than yours and that is alright. Some days you feel on top of the world, other days you cry a lot. Chin up, day by day. I love you, wherever you are on your journey.