Readiness

Love finds you when you're ready to receive it.

Said goodbye to birthday month and well hello to Fallorado. Birthdays tend to force me to know how to be solitary because as we know I thrive off people's energy as an extrovert. The art of loving is central when we can be alone and we can be with others without using them as a means of escape.

During my birthday month, I always partake in a ritual of reminding myself to do reflection on my character and who I have become over the year. I am so very lucky to have incredible people hold me accountable as well as my own sense of personal responsibility. The beautiful souls that surround me are cut from the same cloth, one that is uniquely special and custom fabric of integrity and deep caring love.

When we think of toxic relationships, we think the worse. Not all toxic people are cruel and uncaring. Some of them love us dearly. Many of them have good intentions. Most are toxic to our being simply because of their needs and way of existing in the world force us to compromise ourselves and our happiness. They aren't inherently bad people, but they aren't the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. Life is hard enough without being around people who bring you down, and as much as you care, you can't destroy yourself for the sake of someone else.

You have to make your well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care deeply about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of a friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful. You have every right to leave and create a safer space for yourself. You are not weak because your heart feels so heavy. The thing is that they needed to happen to you so that you can gain balance with yourself.

Never be ashamed of how much you love or how quickly you fall. Love fully, love completely. Most importantly, love naturally and don't you ever apologize for it. Don't ever be sorry for loving the way your heart knows.

Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them. Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through. Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another; they have more individuation work to do first. Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives; they have another path and purpose to walk first. Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality.

Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love’s leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment. This is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe. Sometimes they know something we don’t; they know their limits at that moment in time. Real love is about receiving. Readiness is everything.

• Crush on life and it will love you back tenfolds. Anchor in love with infinite possibilities.

• Location: San Clemente Pier l San Clemente, CA

You will come into each other's lives at the exact moment when we are ready. In the right space, you will be heard without shouting. You will be seen without showing your wounds. You will be understood without changing who you are. You can be yourself without any need to alter you.

From that moment, it is just you and him with infinite possibilities... the future ahead of us.

Grounded by dreams and reality, our life and love flows effortlessly, always gentle, always strong, and moving forward. Together we are anchored in love and present in the moment ♥

Partings

Truthfully I could go back and do everything differently.

That's for you to decide. You can decide which parts of you are worth keeping. This is the most important part. Take your time. Pay attention. The easy part is over. You can go slow. You can stay down for as long as you need to.

• I go where I am loved and bring love to where I go.

• Location: London Eye l London, England

You cannot heal what you hide. You cannot heal what you ignore. You cannot heal what you cover. You cannot heal what you avoid.

Turning the page, this part is much longer. It's the healing. The comeback and the birth of the new you. And it is not easy. You have to be all in.

For me, it took two years. I left so much of myself behind. All the parts that I outgrew. It meant not making myself small. Not bending to fit where I don't belong anymore. The feeling of not belonging is a sign that you are supposed to be somewhere else, doing something different. Let it push you. Let it shove you. Let it force you onto a new path.

Take on the messy work and come out on top, still smiling, still strong. I am still a warm and gentle soul with a heart of gold willing to help anyone. Observe what everyone else is doing, but not absorb it. Love people but don't depend on their love. Want people and things but do not need them. Feel everything fully but not dwell. This is the part of my life where I add people who love me, replenish me, bring me peace and claps for my growth. I am not sorry for the time it took to learn my worth.

I am completely whole. My heart is whole. My soul is whole.

I am here. I am me. Comfortable in my own skin. I earned it. I decide what I am worth. I celebrate me. I live life a bit more selfishly. Pursue my own passions more courageously. People love you because you are you. Exactly as you are right now. Not for some version they hope you'll be one day. There is more road behind me than ahead. I intend to make every step as beautiful and peaceful as possible. Just the best of me.

Then he walks in, guiding me toward a fresh beginning. I love you. Thank you for being here ♥

Leftovers

Another trip around the sun without him.

If you've never lost anyone close, then luckily for you, grief is something you don't know yet. For me, days of grief have felt like years of grief. But if you spend those days completely focused on one thing, you can achieve great miracles.

Everything eventually heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Sad times do not last.

It's his birthday. I love, love, love birthdays. Today is about surrounding myself in his memories, being around people who love me, sharing in laughter, and knowing time is a blessing not to be squandered. To be honest, spending his birthday without him and away from my family, I do usually dread being apart from my essential love ones.

• Your happiness is always going to come back. Sad times do not last.

This year the gratitude is so much deeper than ever before. My life has been filled with more laughter, more dancing, more joy, more giving, more growing, more loving, more learning. It is an honor to my father living a full life and being the best version of myself. I thank every one of you, your contribution. I love you.

My dad left behind the best parts of him. My mother. My siblings. My nieces.

Loving me, knowing me, you're getting to know the best version of him. Happy birthday Dad. Not a day goes by without your love and presence in my life. I celebrate you today and every day dearly ♥